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What Parents Need to Understand about their Children Today

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The generation gap and the immense amount of financial and cultural inflow in India has definitely made parenting more difficult that it ever was. As much as these factors are responsible for many disputes between parents and their children, they should not become factors that lead to excuses to avoid healthy conversations. Parents today are torn between imparting the right ideals and values that they were taught by their parents and keeping up with modern day lifestyles of teenagers. While I am not questioning the ideals that your parents taught you, I am just requesting all our readers who are parents to understand that society has changed exponentially since your childhood. Here are some things that you need to understand before dealing with your children:

Dealing with Teenage Life: Teenage life probably is one of the most crucial phase of your kid’s life. Not only is your child on the cusp of adulthood, but also naive from his/her protective childhood that you have given. An important thing that a parent needs to understand is that children cannot be kept in a protected environment their whole lives. They needs to see the world in order to make their own decisions. Their will be alcohol and drugs when your child is 21 and in another country and you won’t be there. As parents, you won’t be able to ground your children and prevent them from going to that party. Therefore, the first thing you need to do is teach your children instead of grounding them.

Trust: Trusting your children will lead to your children realising their responsibilities. Do not call your children a hundred times when they are at a party. Do not question your children on their every action. However, there is a big difference in trusting your children and turning a blind eye towards their actions and as a parent I am very sure you know the difference. Your child will have to face the world eventually and at that time he/she will not have you in his/her life.

Understanding ground realities: Delegate responsibilities to your children. Send them out to do their own work. Do not make them the victims of the easily available domestic help in your homes. I am not telling you to deprive them of the luxury you can provide, but rather telling you to let your children experience the world that they are about to enter in a short period of time. The sooner your child learns that an average graduate in India earns Rs. 30000 a month and not the multi-crore package he/she sees in movies, the better it is for your child.

Do not compare your times with theirs: One of the worst thing you can do as a parent is to compare your child’s current social life with the life that you lived. Not only is your analogy blowed out of proportion, but also extremely irritating for your child. Times change and as a parent you need to adapt if you want a healthy relationship with your child. We get it if you weren’t able to go out with a boy/girl in your college years. Instead of telling that a thousand times, you need to tell your child how to balance his/her work/academic life with the social life. Do not tell your child that he/she does not know how lucky he/she is just because as a parent you are putting less restrictions than your parents put on you.

Let them fumble and make mistakes: Do not be at there at your child’s beck and call. Let your children work out their own problems. There will be times when it might seem a bit harsh, but your children need to know how to work through things without your protection.

In the end, trust me when I say that you are not the only one struggling in coping up with this relationship. You have no idea how much more your children are dealing with than you did in your childhood. The cut-throat competition in today’s world, the unrealistic role models, social and peer pressure and constant need to prove themselves to you are all factors that increase the burden on your children. To conclude, Chanakya has said- Teach your children from the ages of 5-15 and after that treat them as your friends.

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